I’ve been in a bit of a big contraction phase for the past few months.

And unsurprisingly so, having, during the pandemic, uprooted my family and moved to France without even being able to fluently speak the language!

It dawned on me a few months ago that it was quite a lot…

And, as a result, I had to take a step back from social media, from some aspects of my work, so I could draw in to regroup, reboot myself and reassess.

But I’m just starting to emerge now.

I’ve been reflecting on the work I’m offering, completing the training courses I’ve been studying for the last year and exploring how these new skills fit into my work, and rebranding my website so it looks and feels more like where I am now – more earthy, more seasonal, more wild.

Do you like it?

In fact, change is the only constant – everything keeps moving; the Earth moves around the sun, the moon orbits around the Earth, day turns to night, the tide comes in and then goes out again, one moment is never the same as the last and won’t be the same as the next.

My life has changed in so many ways in the past year. I’ve completed somatic psychology, trauma and breathwork training, as well as starting to slow down and become accustomed to the French way of life while learning a completely new language. My body is changing as I move through perimenopause and I’m becoming more accepting of the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ of all of this.

The title of this blog post – ‘How do you show up for you?’ – came out of my own dislike for the phrase ‘showing up’, both in the context it’s normally used, but also following a conversation with my friend and Feldenkrais teacher Seth Dellinger, who invited me on to his podcast a few weeks ago when we talked about the dangers of an overemphasis on the idea of ‘showing up’ (we also talked about other things including how the practice of charting menstrual cycles in relation to lunar cycles, seasonal changes and life stages can give a woman a clearer sense of her fluctuating resources and needs).

So, what is ‘showing up’, what does it mean?

And why is it that I don’t like the phrase?

I understand that for business, consistency and visibility are good.

But I’d like you to consider who it is we are showing up for.

Are we showing up just for ourselves?

Or are we having to performatively show up for social media?

If we’re showing up for ourselves; we’re wanting to show commitment and a way of creating good habits, then I’m all for it if it’s happening authentically, without force, with compassion and to meet our own needs.

But what I’m no longer doing, and what I’m no longer about, is showing up consistently to appear to be a superwoman. How about you?

When I first started practising yoga, I used to get up at the crack of dawn and practice religiously daily. But now I don’t feel that that is showing up; that is forcing, pushing through.

Discipline and regularity are one thing and are really needed.

But deep listening and honesty is another and it requires us to not push through, to not override our body’s signals, to know where we are in our lives and what we need.

And that impacts how we show up.

As women, we are cyclical beings; we have a cyclical nature.

And life is cyclical.

Sometimes we’ll be in a more of a creative, active place, and sometimes more of a contracted, internally focused or even rested place, a kind of winter.

I’m not a robot and it felt to me that after a life changing move and dealing with the pandemic, that I had to take a bit of time to show up for me in the way that I needed.

I was ready for a change…

And that required a big contraction, so I could step away from social media, regroup, and centre. I showed up for myself and what was needed to help me ground in focus and creativity.

And during this time away from social media, I offered the first Womb Love course, which needed my full attention, but took a lot from me and gave a lot back to me both at the same time.

It was a wonderful course with some fantastic women – a really brilliant experience – but being able to step away from some of the other things that were drawing me out, enabled me to be more present to that group of women too.

And this drawing in time when I haven’t been communicating quite so much also gave me the chance of rebranding and rethinking allwoman and everything I offer.

It’s very tricky moving to a new place, especially not having a permanent home.

Even though I can have the best of days, sometimes in my new country, where I don’t speak the language, where everything’s new and everything’s changing, it’s pretty difficult to ground.

So, I really needed to draw in to regain some focus and creativity.

And to some extent, I’m still in a gathering in phase and I think that’s partially to do with perimenopause as well.

Not just the pandemic, not just the move, but perimenopause too.

In perimenopause, now edging towards 48, this gathering in is becoming even more necessary; my focus cannot be scattered with multitasking anymore, simplicity is key.

And yet I have a creative way of working so I don’t make this easy for myself; as ever it’s all a work in progress.

I have tried to push against this for so long but really this is me. I am very sensitive and get overwhelmed by bright lights, too much screen time, shopping centres and anything that overloads the senses.

I need to move slowly, take breaks and get outside every day.

So, I haven’t got a ten year plan, goals, bucket list or any idea really of how everything will unfold.

But I have a word for the year (well, three!) – NATURE supported by LOVE and WILD – and I have an idea of focus areas for my business, but I am staying open to receive, being guided by life, as so far it seems to have a path for me so I am listening deeply, learning, adjusting and accommodating, and shifting as I go.

I’m staying open to receive.

But I’m starting to emerge now too.

And you can expect to hear from me a little more.

So, how are you showing up for you?

What would your body like more of?

Is it one to one therapeutic support from me including around trauma or breathwork?

Or some delicious Womb Love?

Or would you like to take a Journey into You?

If you know you need something, but you’re not sure what, why not book a free no obligation 20 minute consult here – it would be good to chat with you.

And if you’d like to follow my journey and keep up to date with everything allwoman, please subscribe to my newsletter to receive my musings straight to your inbox.