Instead of finishing the year strong, why don’t we finish the year soft?

I read these words today and my whole belly softened and took a big sigh of relief. Yes please!

As the weather is growing ever colder outside and Autumn starts to edge towards Winter, the desire in me to go even slower is amplifying…can you feel it in you too?

As I journey deeper into Perimenopause (the Autumn phase of my life continues), I am gaining a much clearer focus and clarity around how many of the symptoms I am experiencing are exacerbated when I rush. When I overdo, when I push and produce. When there is no space to just pause and be. And how this all stems from our inherent patriarchal conditioning that is deeply ingrained within us from childhood…that old story about ENOUGHNESS, are we enough? When we aren’t doing and producing and pleasing others are we enough? (This is even more deeply ingrained in women!)

And as I age and rage and feel more fragile and fatigued more regularly, I am coming back more and more to question the busy, the pushing, the effort required to keep up with the endless race to do and achieve more AND I’m realising more than ever now the beauty, the medicine and the much needed nectar that can be found in the NOT DOING…it is like a healing balm that reminds me over and over that simply being here is enough.

When I taught my Restorative TTC weekend at Yoga Kula in Leeds recently, I was once again reminded of the power that can be found in rest, in stillness, in the pause. I was reminded of what is really happening in our body, mind and souls when we take the time to do nothing, when we take time to connect within. So much happens in this space!

No-one really likes to hear it but Rest is really, really productive. When we are sufficiently rested and fully nourished, our creative capacity expands, our capacity for presence and connection expands, our energy increases. When we feel fully supported and nourished, we can support and nourish others more readily too.

So what do I mean by finishing the year soft?

We often hear the message about finishing the year strong and we might have a story in our minds about what this means? Maybe a visual even?

Somatically how does that land in your body, “strong”? Does it feel expansive or is there a contraction? What sensations do you feel and where?

What happens in your body when you hear the word “soft?” What sensations do you feel and where?

Which feels more welcome to you right now?

Could you be “soft and strong”? How does that feel in your body.? Where do you locate this and what sensations are present?

What do you associate with strong? Weights maybe, independence, coping…whatever it is for you?

What about soft? Squishy, pliable, vulnerable, fluffy maybe? Whatever it is for you?

Just explore this: what does you body have to say about softness and strength? What would it like more of?

For me softness is about:

• Resting
• Sleeping
• Hibernating
• Having time to feel feelings
• Presence and openheartedness
• Intimacy
• Opening up to pain – letting tears and rage flow
• Walks in nature – communing with plants and animals
• Resting on the Earth
• Being by water
• Being gentle, kind and compassionate with ourselves
• Taking time out and time off work when needed
• Gardening
• Dancing
• Playing
• Touching
• Exploring

Softness for me is tender and tenderness is the most modest form of LOVE. It arrives from presence and true seeing / witnessing of ourselves or of another.

So my invitation to you as we edge towards Winter and Winter Solstice is to see what extra softness and stillness you might be able to bring into your life as we come towards year end. (Though some of you may feel (like me) that year end happens at Samhain). 😊

From this softness and space perhaps more energy and vitality can be born, from this place of natural deep restoration. Winter is the most natural time to do even more of that, the animals show us well how to really hibernate.

So let’s finish the year soft and grateful for having made it through another year. As Autumn flows into Winter and the seasons pull us ever more inward to rest, dream and be.