How to keep your cool in times of change
What exactly is transition?
The dictionary states: movement, passage, or change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept, etc., to another; change.
What is it to transform?
The dictionary states: The act or process of transforming. A marked change, as in appearance or character, usually for the better
As a Doula I know the transition phase pretty well and transition is not easy. This is often the point where the woman giving birth wants to give up or reverse things, however at this stage we are really close to the change happening, to the baby being born: we are at the point of no return, there is no going back.
We are witness to transitions daily when we learn new things, or make changes in our lives. Where we live, where we work, and we are witness to transitions in the world we see around us too. In nature we see changes occur daily with a rising and setting sun, the growth of a seed to a flower or tree and cyclically over time with the cycles of the waxing and waning moon. These cycles of nature mirror the cycles we see in our lives from Conception to Pregnancy, Birth into Motherhood. The transition of children to adults, from adulthood we move into old age and eventually death.
These transitions can often hold for us a sense of confusion and worry, due to the uncomfortable new circumstances or new processes we need to follow and haven’t yet mastered. Out of our comfort zone we can often get flustered and anxious forgetting to fully embrace the knowledge “that this too shall pass”, everything is temporary. But somehow we get past these blocks, we muddle through and cope despite the frustrations, we might even eventually master a new skill along the way. I know for me any new technical computer system change often sends me into a spin; it is my nemesis. But with careful attention and focus on the breath, coupled with a mild tantrum or two, I get there in the end…. despite having no clear understanding of when the end might come.
I see students through the Yoga Teaching, 1:1 work, Mizan massage and birth work that I do, moving through their own individual transitions and transformative birth experiences and I feel very privileged to be a small part of their journey. It is a real pleasure to be a witness to them shedding their skin and transforming.
I also have a real sense that it can be very challenging for some people when they are experiencing a sense of loss, or bewilderment or confusion, where they do not feel entirely in sync with their journey, or perhaps the pace that life is flowing, or the direction it is taking. This awareness of edginess, this discontent provides an opportunity for individuals to seek out re-connection, or to perhaps acquire a deeper level of self-connection, for the first time through an inner need that is guiding them on. This inner need, this desire for re-connection provides people with an opportunity to connect more deeply with the inherent wisdom of their own bodies, their intuition, inviting their inner voice to guide them as to how to make the next move. Seeking answers from within, from the heart and soul, rather than the thinking rational mind.
Yoga is a great way to deepen that connection to that inner voice, to get in touch at a deep level with what the body and soul wants, and needs as well as the mind. The internal practice of meditation with it’s focus on the natural breath help us to find a way to access more peace, calm and ease, within ourselves. Inviting us to find wholeness in the present moment, despite any transitions or difficulties that we might be dealing with at that time. Yoga is an extension of a meditative practice, meditation in action, providing us with the opportunity to quiet the thinking mind, through movement and flow, where breath and movement combine, alternating with moments of stillness. The practice of Yoga or any form of rhythmic movement provides us with some valuable space in which to find some clarity and inner strength. From that place we can really listen and respond. Recharge and renew, refreshing once more our inner resilience and resourcefulness. If we can allow ourselves to be anchored and held in the presence and support of the breath we can surrender more easily into what is and what will be.
And then eventually new flowers will blossom and grow, although there might be some weeds too, or parts of the plant that don’t bloom so well……
A flower is not better when it blooms than when it is merely a bud; at each stage it is the same thing — a flower in the process of expressing its potential.
From this viewpoint we can face transitions through life like spiritual warriors, warriors of the light. Not fighting in a physical sense but developing skills within ourselves to support us in times of difficulty: perseverance, determination, inner strength and trust.
So, a warrior of the light must be prepared to be patient at difficult times, and know that the Universe is conspiring in his favour, even if he does not understand how.
Warrior pose can be useful at times of change to build inner strength and courage.
Lion’s Breath can also be helpful to let go of any anger or aggression, a way to release.
If you’re in a transformative phase like me currently and struggling with transition, here are a few things you can try to help smooth out the edges:
- Practice – letting go and letting yourself off the hook.
Be kind to yourself, stay present to enable you to connect to your inner voice, let go of anything that feels too hard right now, reduce “the busy”, create more space.
- Clarity & Modelling
Get clear on who is it or where is it you want to be? What are the attributes or changes you can start to model or instigate into your life right now?
- Breathe.
Take time out to watch your breath, notice where in the body you are breathing. Watch the diaphragm moving as you breath as a point of focus to invite a fuller deeper breathe into the body, full deep inhale and full deep exhale. Sounding the breath out with some shoulder shrugs and sighs can be very liberating….
- Let something drop- physically
Holding small objects like eye-bags in your hands or soft balls and dropping them to the floor, as if dropping the weight you are carrying on your shoulders feels very liberating and freeing both physically and mentally. We are always taught to never drops things….it feels very nice to let things drop.
- Practice gratitude.
Before you go to bed at night or when you wake up in the morning it can be really nice to think about and give thanks for the things you are grateful for, there will always be at least one thing and will often bring more things to mind once you get into that way of thinking.
- Listen.
Practice deep listening giving yourself enough time and space daily for connection, to breath, to body, to heartbeat. Listening without judgement, observing how you feel and connecting to yourself before connecting to others to ensure your own needs are being met. Always a nice way to start a yoga practice too.
- Try something new
Get out and do something new. Say Yes to life! Helps us to get unstuck.
- Relax.
As much as possible, whenever possible. Try some Restorative yoga daily – link to restorative blog for 20 minutes or add some Yoga Nidra practice into your life to restore and renew.
- Honour your own intuition
Trust yourself first and don’t overload yourself with lots of advice from others.
- Be here now – cultivate presence
Meet yourself where you are.
Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can.
– Arthur Ashe
- Practice Yoga
Little and often can help to support you through difficult transitions and create lasting change.
Or we can just follow wise Jeff Foster’s advice and let all the answers unfold in their own sweet time.
Enjoy the ride everyone. L x